Burned
by Jaymi
Summary: For a second the eyes seemed to swim before his face in a way that made him certain that he must be dreaming. Everything settled back into focus again quickly enough though when the owner of those eyes said in her familiar voice, Justin? Pairings: JB, JO
1. Bull’s Blood, Pálinka and Orange Juice

Title: Burned  
Rating: T (PG-13, 12)  
Spoilers: None  
Pairings: Justin/Becca, Justin/Original Character  
Setting: Six years on from the 'weekend away' in March 2006  
Notes: The extended periods of text in italics are flashbacks.  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Mersy TV, I'm just taking them our of their boxes for a bit, I'll try not to break them.

* * *

Burned

_"This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to move away ... You'll never see me again. You can stay here with Jake, have a happy life, have babies, carry on being an English teacher and marking essays... If you don't want me though, I'm not going to stick around and watch because it's killing me. I'll find someone else. Someone intelligent, someone who I can't take my eyes off... She'll drive me mad because I lover her so much. And I'll be able to tell her, 'it gives me wonder great as my content to see you here before me'" - Justin _

Chapter One:  
Bull's Blood, Pálinka and Orange Juice

Bull's Blood. He was opening four bottles of it for the tourists at the back table. Their party of ten seemed intent on drinking each other under the table. He'd only been in this country for a year and a half and he'd already learnt to despise tourists, even though he was frequently still mistaken for one himself. Mari came over to take the bottles from him. Left with an empty bar he pulled out the barman's stereotype, a damp cloth, and started polishing at imaginary smudges on the varnished wood.

Rik and Ella bustled in behind him to restock the wine. Ella touched his shoulder as she went past. He barely had time to smile at her before she was forced back into the kitchen by the sound of a dropped pan. He turned around to face the room again and was greeted by a pair of blue-green eyes. He felt dizzy. For a second the eyes seemed to swim before his face in a way that made him certain that he must be dreaming. Everything settled back into focus again quickly enough though when the owner of those eyes said in her familiar voice,

"Justin?"

* * *

_Becca let out a shout of laughter as they ran along the hall, his hand slipped from hers for a second and her heal turned on the carpet. She fell against the wall and in an instant felt his arm around her waist holding her steady. _

_"Are you ok?" he asked, the smile gone from his face and his eyes filled with concern. She grinned at him, "Fantastic," before looping her arms over his shoulders and bringing his lips down to hers. They kissed intensely. The hands he'd been supporting her with now slid down her back. He pressed her up against the wall and slipped one finger underneath her top. She broke the kiss with a giggle and, foreheads touching, they looked at each other. _

_"Your hands are cold" she said after a moment, teasing in her voice. _

"_Let me warm them up then," he countered, grinning as he slipped his hand over the small of her back. He rubbed the tip of his fingers against her bare skin. Before he could lean in for another kiss she'd slipped from his arms and was walking along the corridor again. _

_"Come on" she called, tossing her head in the direction of their room a few doors away. He grinned and followed her.

* * *

_

Chance was not something Becca really believed in. She believed that you made decisions and then reaped the rewards or took the punishment. She'd not always believed that of course, but people change. Walking into the restaurant had not been a big choice though, not a momentous decision in itself. It was hot outside and she was a little lost - not so much that she was panicked about it, but she knew that walking around the streets would just make things worse. The sign outside the restaurant was written in English and that had attracted her to step inside. She had no idea what she would find.

The dining area of the restaurant was really just a big wooden patio with cream-coloured sheets hung above as a temporary ceiling and red paper lanterns hanging in bunches from stands positioned randomly around the room. Most of the tables were empty, it was early afternoon. A group of sunburnt tourists with shorts, sandals and Hawaiian shirts on let out a cheer as she walked into the room, but it seemed the greeting was for the waitress rather than her.

The bar was under a real roof, propped up at each end by a pillar, and sat in front of the kitchen. Through the stack of bottles behind the bar she could see several chef's hats moving about and steam rising from somewhere in the distance. It was surprisingly quiet though.

Moving up to the bar she stood before the barman and waited politely for his attention to move from his friends to her, the customer. She was just about to speak up when he turned around. At the sight of his face everything seemed to freeze. He was familiar. His eyes, his lips, his nose... It all made her panic with recognition. _Was she dreaming again? Was this real?_ It was a face she'd never expected to see again, especially not here, not today, not this second, in this place.

"Justin?"

His face had been carrying a similarly shocked expression to her own until she said his name. Then, so slowly she could see it happening, his expression closed itself off. His lips drew together, his eyes narrowed and focused themselves disinterestedly on the empty table behind her and the vaguest of frowns played about between his eyebrows.

He seemed to deliberate for a second before offering, "Mrs Dean" as a greeting.

The coldness of his voice made the sick feeling in her stomach worsen. He picked up a glass from under the bar and started polishing it with determination.

"What are you doing here?"

He offered a little closed smile to the glass in his hand and, still not looking at her, mimicked, "What are _you_ doing here?"

He looked good. Different, but good. He'd grown a couple of inches since she'd last seen him, some of the puppy fat around his face had disappeared and his hair was back to dark stubble again. Part of his left eyebrow was shaved off in that ridiculous way that was fashionable. Five years and his eyes were still as big and blue as ever though. His uniform was a crisp white shirt, black waistcoat and thick blue tie. She couldn't see behind the bar but could detect the edges of a white half-apron around his waist.

He was looking at her now, actually glaring would be a closer description. She answered, "Holiday," to his question. He looked back down at the glass with a disbelief written on his face, but didn't say anything. It was clear he thought her answer was a lie, and that wasn't pleased to see her.

* * *

_He hung back as she opened the door, a nervous smile on his face. She took two steps into the suite before pausing. The room was lit up with candles, every available surface boasted a little flickering orange glow that gave the dim light a warm feeling. Without turning around she let out a soft gasp and then whispered in a wistful way, "Oh Justin.." _

"_Do you like it?" he asked, moving into the room and shutting the door behind him. She turned around and despite the smile on her face there was something sad in her eyes, _

"_It's just so..." _

"_Cheesy?" he joked, stepping closer to her until he could see every detail of her face. She still looked troubled. He lifted a hand slowly and stroked the side of her face, then laced his fingers through her hair and leant in to place a soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled away she was smiling again. _

"_Dangerous" she finished. He grinned. _

"_Wait, there's more," he said, darting past her to the CD player on the vanity. He flicked a few switches before the song came on, turning he held out his hand just as Enrique sung 'would you dance, if I asked you to dance?'. She laughed then. _

"_Now that is cheesy..." she said. He reached out, took her hands in his and her smile faded. Pulling their bodies together he wrapped his arms around her. She did the same and leant in until they were cheek-to-cheek. They swayed to the music for a few precious seconds, both lost in their own thoughts. Superficially it was perfect. She could not help letting out a little sob. _

"_Becca..." _

"_It's ok" she said weakly, lifting her hand from his shoulder to wipe away a tear. Then, as if gathering herself, she added with more conviction, "I'm ok... This is just so perfect, so wonderful, I can't believe it has to en--" _

_Before she could finish speaking he kissed her. That final word never made its way out of her mouth. He backed her onto the bed and then laid her down on the sheets, she made one final attempt to talk to him, "Justin.." but was greeted only by a soft comforting 'shhh' and another kiss. She smiled up at him and nodded her head a fraction, he smiled back and started unbuttoning his shirt. _

'_Am I in to deep? Have I lost my mind? I don't care you're here tonight'

* * *

_

Clearly he was not going to his explain what he was doing here. He didn't seem inclined to speak to her at all and yet... he wouldn't move away from in front of her. Maybe he was waiting for her to move. Or for her to say something.

"How are you?" she asked finally, her mind reaching for and cancelling out thousands of more interesting questions at a rapid speed.

"I'm working" he said abruptly. He put down the glass he'd been polishing with some force on the bar and tilted his head at her, "Do you want anything?"

"What?" she forced out, unsure what he meant. The hardness of his voice alarmed her. Was he still angry after all this time, or had he forgotten about her so much that he ceased to care whether he treated her with kindness?

"Do you want a drink?" he clarified, gesturing to the collection of alcohol behind him. When she stared at him with an open mouth he continued, "If you want food we're not serving at the moment."

"An orange juice please" she said finally. She watched him pour it in a tense silence. He laid a napkin and then the drink down on the bar in front of her. She reached into her purse for some money but when she glanced up he'd already left and was down at the other end of the bar serving someone else.

She took a sip of the drink that was already sweating onto the napkin and tried to decide whether to walk out or to go over and demand answers from him. As she was watching him an attractive petite brunette in clothes that vaguely resembled his squeezed behind him to put something in the till. She might have been seeing things but she could have sworn that the girl ran a hand down his arm as she was doing it. Becca's grip on the glass tightened and she forced herself to take another slow sip.

* * *

He was sitting in one of the empty chairs when she walked up to him. He was on a break. She put the napkin down on the table, written on it he recognised a hotel name and room number, "Just if you..." she started saying, her eyes downcast. When she noted no reaction from him she looked up and saw that his expression was blank, she hurried on saying, "...If you want to contact me while I'm here," She lingered for a few seconds but he didn't touch the napkin, or show any interest in it. Carefully she set her glass down on the bar and then turned and walked out of the restaurant without glancing back at him. Suddenly she was finding it hard to breathe.

* * *

He lifted the bottle to his mouth and took another long swig. Behind him Ella was getting ready to go out, rifling through the dresser first to find a silk scarf then her favourite necklace. He didn't offer his help and she didn't ask for it, they were so used to this evening routine by now that despite her rushing around the atmosphere felt comfortable. He stood at the open balcony window with a bottle of Pálinka in his hand. The night air was warm as usual, but as they were high up the building a breeze ruffled the lace curtains beside him and cooled the beads of sweat on his forehead. He stared out over the city at the window lights of various colours, the trees with leaves already yellow from too much sun despite it being early summer and the gaps in the landscape where he knew the Danube wound through the district but all he could see at night was dark space. Below he could hear the sounds of a lively card game taking place on the veranda, the smell of cigarette smoke even made its way up to his window on the 9th floor. 

Usually looking out over the city made him feel calm but not tonight. The napkin in his pocked felt huge, he kept putting hand down to pat at it to make sure no telltale corner was peaking out for Ella to see. It was almost a reflex movement that he could not stop, but every time he did it he felt a little pang of guilt afterwards. He was hiding something, he knew it, and it felt awful.

He'd been honest with Ella from the beginning about his past. She had listened patiently to everything he'd had to say, her hazel eyes fixed intently on his in a way that made him want to reveal more to her than he had to anyone else, least of all a relative stranger. His father, Ali, his sisters, Becca. _Becca_. Curled up with her on their bed he'd stared at the ceiling and told their stories, his story, until he could see the events unfolding before his eyes again. Finishing speaking he'd felt as exposed as if he'd just peeled open his chest and let her have a look at his organs working. She had taken his face in her hands, brushed away the tears he'd not even noticed falling, and given him one of those sweet little smiles of hers that said 'I've got you, I understand'. And she had understood. They'd been together for a year and a half and every time he'd lapsed into moodiness she'd known exactly what to do to bring him out of it, even if that sometimes meant leaving him alone to deal with it.

Now she was standing by the door waiting for him to follow her out. Her reflection in the window gave him a little wave and smile to break him from his thoughts. When he turned around to look at her she bit her lower lip in that anxious way she has and did a little twirl to show off her outfit. She's joking again. He's seen her in the same thing many times before. She's beautiful.

Justin gave her the smile that he knew she deserved and slowly put down the Pálinka on the broad windowsill. As he turned to close the window he pulled the napkin out of his pocket and when reaching for the handle he crumpled it up in his fist and dropped it over the ledge. He watched it fall for a millisecond before closing the window. In two strides he was at the door and offering her his arm. She took it with a laugh and opened the door. As he reached back inside the apartment to turn off the lights he called out to her, "Lets go."

* * *

**Author's Note: Any comments are gratefully received. Next chapter is on its way..**


	2. Goodbye, Hello

Chapter Two:  
Goodbye, Hello

"Why are you here?"

Becca looked up and, although she was surprised to see him, she felt as if she'd been expecting to every time she'd looked up for the last few days.

After encountering him in the restaurant and giving him her number she'd spent the next three days of her holiday in her hotel room waiting for him to call. She'd managed to plan out all of the places she wanted to visit, fluorescent post-it notes sticking out from every page of her guide book and a map covered in ink folded on her table, but she'd not actually been to any of them. Seeing old buildings and museums suddenly didn't seem as important to her as picking up that phone and hearing his voice on the other end of the line. But by the third day her optimism had turned to annoyance and upset and she'd decided to continue with her plans. So on the fourth day she went out to the Fisherman's Bastion and was entertained, for a while, by the architecture, the street stalls, the performance artists and the beautiful view out over the city. By the time afternoon came she was hearing ringing of telephones wherever she went and eventually could not stop her compulsion to return to the hotel any longer. She was walking quickly through reception when he'd stood up in front of her and asked her that question.

"I told you, I'm on holiday" she offered tentatively. He didn't seem as closed off as he'd been the last time she saw him and she hoped softly spoken answers would keep him calm. Her good intentions didn't work though, at her reply he seemed to grow agitated. He sighed and took two steps backwards, then one forwards.

"Would you like to... come up to my room?" she asked, still softly. He nodded once and after a second's pause she led him over to an empty lift and they got inside. He seemed to stand as far away from her as possible in the tight space and did not appear to want to talk. They walked out of the lift and into her room in silence.

When they got inside she turned to close the door but he got in the way, leaning into him she reached around and shut the door. Their noses were inches apart, his expression was nothing more than one of badly veiled mistrust. Letting out a sigh she drew back and asked, "Do we have to be like this Justin?"

He walked around her and into the room, the silence stretched out as he pretended to look around and check out the view when really he was working at keeping his emotions manageable. She could hardly remember what she'd asked him when he answered finally, "Like what?"

"Like people who hate each other"

"No point in lying"

"I don't hate you Justin, I never did.."

"Look, Mrs Dean--"

"Becca" she corrected him, "I'm not Mrs Dean anymore...". For some reason she'd expected him to be more excited by that news, she'd been saving it as a card up her sleeve but he seemed so agitated now she thought she'd better show it off. The effect of her words was to provoke another look of mistrust and disbelief on his face.

"Ok. Sure. Great." he said, unconvinced, "Look, Becca, what do you want from me? I'm putting together an ok life here. Whatever it was that we had, it ended years ago. You showing up the other day threw me... I can't imagine what we can have to say to each other now."

Becca sank down into the uncomfortable wicker chair that the hotel had provided. What she wanted to say was that this wasn't all planned, that it really was a holiday, that she'd hardly thought about him in years, but what came out of her mouth was, "You came here though"

He perched himself on the end of her bed before grudgingly admitting, "I didn't mean to. I threw away that napkin... Unfortunately I remembered your hotel and..." he raised his hand and slapped his leg as if swatting at a fly, "every time I thought about it, it just confused me, until I knew I had to speak to you." He finally looked at her, "One last time anyway"

* * *

_He snaked an arm around her middle and she twisted slowly in his embrace until she was facing him. He gave her a grin and then a small kiss on the lips, "Hi" _

_She returned the kiss, her lips lingering on his as her hands slid down his body beneath the covers as if they'd been away from each other a long time and not sleeping side-by-side in the same bed. His eyes were open so wide that she laughed and then relaxed in his arms, "Morning" _

"_This has to be the best morning of my life.." he said, wonderment in his voice that made her uncomfortably happy, after a pause he grinned again, "After the best night of my life.." _

"_Yeah, it was good.." she breathed, glancing over at the chink of sunlight peeping through the curtains and getting a feeling that she would soon have a hangover. _

"_Good? It was..." he rolled his eyes in search of a word suitable to encompass all that he was feeling, but could only settle on, "Indescribable" _

_Becca chuckled and tickled a finger between his shoulder blades before admitting, "I suppose it was...". He leant in and kissed her again, she ran her tongue along his upper lip for a second before breaking away, "What time is it?" _

_He struggled with the impulse to tell her it didn't matter and looked at the clock over her shoulder, "9:16..." _

"_Check out is at eleven" _

"_Becca... can't we just enjoy this for a bit longer?" he pleaded, tightening his grip on her and nuzzling at her neck. It tickled. Despite herself she laughed, _

"_Okay... but we can't be late.."

* * *

_

It was hard to work out what to say to Justin when she didn't know what she felt. She knew that his words had hurt her in a degree that was surprising but she wasn't sure why. After he'd left five years ago she'd gotten on with her life the best she could, and had even enjoyed her marriage for a while before the old issues had started to emerge again. Justin had always been a thought on the periphery of her mind, but she didn't let herself think about him and eventually she became so good at blocking him out that he'd just disappeared.

Confronted by this surly stranger wasn't really like Justin coming back at all, it was like having a conversation with that neglected part of herself that had wandered off. She didn't recognise him or feel anything for him. Except for in flashes. Like when he looked her right in the eye, or when he smiled. Until those moments happened she just felt irritated and confused by his despondency, but then he'd look at her and those emotions would be replaced by regret, shame and a trace of longing.

"I really didn't come here to find you Justin... This is all just a..." she searched for an adjective then unable to find one that fitted her mood continued, "coincidence. You can believe otherwise if you want to, but that's the truth"

"Oh" he stood up quickly, "then, I suppose this is goodbye again. Finally"

"No" she sprang up, "No, please, lets talk for a bit, we can't part like this and then... never see each other again?"

"Parting like this would be better than last time..." he resisted, but then sat down again once more. She lingered for a moment in case he was about to jump up again, then retook her seat as well. She'd won him around quite quickly, she wondered if he had just been testing her.

* * *

"_Stop it Justin!" she reprimanded, squirming away from his attention. She pulled her wrist out of his hand and took a step backwards so that he could no longer kiss along her jaw line as he had been doing. Too emotional to mask his feelings, she watched as at first he looked hurt, and then annoyed. _

"_This is our last chance Becca, our last hour together, can't we just enjoy it?" _

"_You have to get on this train" she said, looking up at the television screens and reading the times, "I have to be back tonight and you have to be back before me so that..." her voice trailed off. _

"_No-one notices" he finished for her. _

"_Yes" she sighed. Then after a second she turned around, "Platform 5, 47 minutes..." _

"_No need to worry then.." he reached out and took her hand gently, she forced herself to smile through the concern and then moved closer to him slowly. His smile was more genuine when he kissed her. People were walking around them, talking, eating, fighting for places on the cold metal benches. But for this last 45 minutes it didn't matter who saw them. _

_He slid his arms around her and pulled her against him. She dropped her bag onto the platform and put her left hand up to his face while her right traced the contours of his back. Her fingers wrapped themselves around his hair, his hands slid inside her coat, underneath her top and beneath the clasp of her bra. She let out a soft moan. The announcer blared loudly from a speaker above their heads and they stumbled apart. _

_They exchanged the briefest of panicked looks before they worked out where the noise had come from, then both laughed. Becca picked up her bag, put her free arm through Justin's and walked with him away from the speaker. When they reached a quieter platform that boasted no other passengers, she tugged on his arm to stop him from walking. He shot her a quizzical look and she explained with a grin, "Well, we do have 36 minutes..."

* * *

_

"I am sorry..." she tried to get him to look her in the eye but he had become introverted again, "... for how it ended. Justin? Some of the things I said just weren't fair.."

"They were true though--"

"No!"

"Yes, they were." he scratched at the stubble growing around his chin, "I was bad for you."

"We were bad for each other" she compromised. He shrugged, as if to say he didn't see much of a difference between their two definitions. She tucked her hair behind her ears then leant forward, elbows on her knees, in an attempt to get him to look at her. She smiled when he did so, "You seem to have managed all right since anyway.."

What she had intended as a compliment put a scowl on his face. He seemed to bite his tongue for a second, opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it and then stood up again, "You have--" the fingers of his left had curled into a fist, "You have no idea--" he dragged the fist over his head, slowly uncurling the fingers and scratching his scalp. "Becca... forget it." He walked past her and to the door, "Forget we met the other day, forget I came here... enjoy your holiday. Forget everything Becca."

He was pulled back at the door by her hand grabbing at his arm. He tried to shake her off but she held on and pulled him around to face her. For a moment she caught the glimpse of a tear in his eye before he jerked away from her and wiped at his face. Speechless but now sure that he wasn't leaving, she backed off and sat down in the place he'd vacated on the bed, her eyes fixed on his face.

He turned slowly, expression composed once more into apparent apathy. This time he looked at her though, his eyes trained on hers in an unnerving way. Now, more than ever before, she felt like she was talking to Justin Burton again, for the first time in five years. Tears prickled at her eyes but she forced them back. If he could be mature about this, so could she, there were some things that needed saying, "Justin... I am sorry... for the way I treated you back then.."

He shrugged, dismissive again, and uttered with his trademark naiveté of years ago, "All break ups are hard."

"Not just the at the end. The stuff in the middle, hell, even some of the stuff at the start... I did so many things badly back then... " she waited a beat to see if he would come in with his own apology but then soldiered on, just happy that he was finally listening, "I can't say I've thought about you much. Blocked you out more like.. Until these last few days when you were all I could think about. I really need to know if... if you're ok, if I can help you with anything... if I--"

"--screwed me up for life?" he asked, catching on to her train of thought.

"I suppose."

"If you're feeling guilty Becca, don't. If all you need me to say is that I'm ok, then I'm ok. If you want me to forgive you, I forgive you." his voice raised a little as he continued slowly, "Don't. Worry. About. Me. Anymore. You said you wouldn't when we last spoke in Chester--" she winced at the memory, "--and I held you to that. I didn't worry about you either." he broke eye contact with her, turned and opened the door, "So... goodbye Becca. I hope you've heard what you wanted to hear. Have a nice life, I mean that..."

"Justin!" she called, no longer forcing back the tears, "Please.."

"Don't Becca..." he whispered, half way out of the door with his back to her, his voice hard, "Stop being so pathetic. Just... let me go."

"Goodbye Justin.." she said, fighting down everything else she wanted to say. She could not bare to look up and watch him leave, so instead closed her eyes and wiped at her wet cheeks.

He paused at the doorway and looked back at her. His eyes were dry, his expression resigned. She had her face in her hands and could not see him still standing there. He tried to take the final step out of her room but found that he couldn't. He told himself he was stupid. Sighing he leant his head on the door frame and, still unsure why he was saying it, said quietly, "I'll pick you up at seven. Tonight" and then added, "Don't expect too much" before finally disappearing down the corridor before she could look up.


	3. Some Enchanted Evening

Chapter Three:  
Some Enchanted Evening

Lying to Ella had been easy. His past truthfulness meant that she always believed everything he said. It was one of her few flaws.

He'd invented some extra shift work at a cafe and she'd just smiled and asked if they could afford a toaster with the extra money as 'this one sets bread on fire'. She'd even made him a salad to eat in his break. He'd dumped that in a bin, with a disturbing lack of conscience, half way to Becca's hotel. The lie had slipped so well into place that it didn't feel like lying at all. It probably should have been harder.

It wasn't that he planned to do anything that would upset Ella. It was just that... Being with Becca, through necessity, had always been a private thing. Their whole relationship had taken place in a separate world; one filled with passion and intensity rather than husbands and homework. Continuing like that now just felt right, even if they had nothing together now. Even if he wasn't sure what he felt for her anymore. Being in a place like that had made it all the easier to discard when reality slipped in. For her anyway.

She was clearly unhappy now, and he didn't like that, but he wasn't sure whether he wanted to help her or not. She'd admitted that she'd hardly thought of him after they split up, which did not endear her to him. He'd thought about her all the time until this last year or so. Clearly it had meant more to him.

Justin walked through the revolving doors of the hotel, past the enquiring gaze of the receptionist and into an empty elevator. As he pressed the button to her floor, memorised from his first visit, he thought about not turning up. He'd already made the effort of coming, of dressing up, and of making up an excuse, and yet part of him was still reasoning that it would be so much easier to go home, tell Ella that the job was a non-starter and curl up with her on the sofa and watch some of that badly dubbed Japanese cinema that she loved so much. The lift doors opened on Becca's floor.

He stuck one foot out into the hallway then retracted it again. He could see her door at the end of the passageway. With a reluctant sigh he strode over to it and knocked. There was a scuffling sound from inside, then the noise of the door being unlocked in a hurry. His last thought before it opened was; I should have stayed at home.

* * *

_She'd just paid the taxi when Justin called in a low whisper from by the fountain, "Becca!" _

_Turning, frightened for a second, she glanced around the street. There was no-one around. She picked up her bags and hurried over to the spot where he was standing, "What are you doing here!" she demanded, eyes still searching for any passing busybody who might be able to discover her secret, "This is too risky Justin," she looked at him quickly, "I have to go home. So do you." _

"_I just wanted to see you were back ok," he murmured sweetly, "I was going to watch from my window but... I'm not good at waiting... then when I saw you just now, I knew I had to speak to you..." _

"_I'm fine. I'll speak to you tomorrow." she said quickly and turned to walk away. _

"_Wait! Please Becca.." he reached out and touched her shoulder. _

"_For God's sake Justin, this isn't a game!" she snapped, not turning back, "I have to get home to my family, so do you. This isn't going to last if you don't control yourself", she glanced back then and sent him a quick smile before hurrying off to the flat. He lingered about for a second, feeling lost, then when she'd disappeared from view he made his way slowly home. _

_As soon as she walked in the door there was a flurry of movement and Jake and Nancy rushed to greet her. Her sister grabbed her for a brief hug before Jake kissed her brow and took her bags. Together they ushered her to the sofa and encouraged her to tell all about her weekend away. The welcome was touching, especially as they appeared genuinely happy to see her, but guilt held her grateful smiles back and as soon as she could she made her excuses and retired to bed.

* * *

_

"What did you order for me?" she asked, looking down at the plate with some trepidation. He chuckled,

"It's goulash"

"It looks like spam in gravy" she said, wrinkling her nose and poking at one of the strips of meat with her fork.

"It's good," he said, pointedly taking a mouthful and then saying, "It's a traditional Hungarian dish, this is your holiday, you should at least try it."

She had been shocked that evening when, after being told not to expect much, he'd brought her to a restaurant and told her he would pay for everything. She had tried not to dress up too much, she didn't want to appear as if she was trying to entice him, but he was dressed so smartly now in a dark suit that she felt foolish sitting opposite him in an ordinary skirt and blouse. So, feeling uncomfortable from the start, this strange dish seemed to be another one of his attempts to throw her and make her look silly while simultaneously showing how much he'd grown. When she tasted it though, she admitted that it was quite good, causing him to smile with delight as he guessed the ambush she'd suspected.

His change in attitude was astonishing and she found it hard to connect this smiling, charming man in front of her to the frustrated, troubled man she'd seen hours before.

"We're getting on so well... I hardly want to bring it up but--"

"Don't then" he said, waving a hand.

"But this afternoon--"

"Lets just enjoy tonight," he leant forward before adding in a low voice, "Becca" in a way that made her forget the subject straight away.

"How long have you been in Budapest then?" she asked, after a long pause in which he'd sipped at his wine and watched her eat with veiled scrutiny.

"A year and a half" he answered immediately, putting down his glass and picking up a fork to continue eating, "I didn't mean to stay that long, but..." _I found a girlfriend_, ".. I found that I fitted in here"

"So if you've been here for a year and a half, what about the rest of the time since you left Hollyoaks..?"

"Travelling. I didn't just settle on Hungary for my destination, I was in a fair few countries before coming here"

"That sounds... expensive"

"I took work where I could.." he said with a dismissive shrug.

"What about your family--?"

"Does being a PI pay more than being a teacher?"

"I suppose I am asking a lot of questions..." she'd started to relax in the last few seconds but now tensed up again. She offered him a little smile but his good mood seemed to be slipping away, "It's just... there isn't much else to talk about... unless you want to discuss the weather or the stock market or something..."

"No." he was annoyed now, "I guess there isn't much else to talk about." he admitted, and then asked with a quick transition, "How long since you and Jake split up?"

"I-I..." she stuttered, bit her lip, and then after a sizeable pause said, "Two years."

* * *

"_Was he suspicious?" _

_Becca looked up from the essay she was marking, Justin was standing in the open doorway. He was leaning against the frame casually, behind him the occasional student walked past, but his expression was serious. _

"_No." Becca looked back to the essay, then purposefully put the cap back on her pen, "No, he was just concerned." _

"_Good" Justin said with a sigh, walking into the room and shutting the door behind him. He reached to turn the lock-- _

"_Stop!" Becca stood up quickly, he looked at her in surprise and pulled his hand back, "It's just... I have a class in a minute... we don't have time.." _

"_Okay" he acknowledged, stepping away from the door and regarding her with a searching look, "Are you ok Becca?" _

_She walked towards him for a second, then seemed to think better of it, instead leaning back against her desk and maintaining her distance, "Yes... I just think we need to be more careful sometimes..." _

"_He did say something then," Justin worried, "he must have." _

"_No, Justin," she sighed, "he really didn't," with a glance to the window in the door, she took a few experimental steps towards him. "He believed everything I said.." Justin reached out and touched her hand, when she didn't pull back he ran his index finger along her arm until she shivered. _

"_Can we meet tonight?" he asked softly, pressing his palm against her shoulder then running his hand along her collar bone. _

"_No," Becca didn't stop him from touching her, but felt too exposed to reciprocate, "I have to spend some time with him." _

"_Not even an hour after school..?" Justin murmured, stepping closer to her, his eyes fixed on the curve of her neck. _

"_Nancy is going to walk me back," Becca lamented, then added quickly at his look, "her idea, not mine, apparently she feels like she hardly ever sees me..." _

_Justin pulled his hand quickly away from her, she wondered if she'd offended him but at her questioning look he indicated the door with a nod of his head. Seconds later the bell rang and a stream of students barged into the room, noisy and unwanted. Becca moved quickly back to her desk, Justin shoved his way between two students and out of the door. Turning he mouthed 'bye' to Becca before disappearing down the corridor. She nodded quickly to him before rearranging the books on her desk as if searching for something. It was a couple of minutes before she felt composed enough to get her lesson started.

* * *

_

As Justin was walking back to the table from the bathroom he was forced to pause when a large group of people entered the restaurant. Glancing over to check on Becca he was struck by an eerie sense of deja vu. She was seated with her back to him and her eyes were fixed on the desert menu while the fingers of her right hand toyed with the stem of her wine glass. Her head was tilted to the side and her hair brushed gently against her shoulder as she moved. For a millisecond when he saw her he felt a satisfied kind of joy, before the last five years washed over him.

She must have been about thirty now, but she was still the same Becca. So much so that every time he spotted her it was like seeing a mirage. Her hair still golden, her eyes still a bewitching shade of blue-green and although her figure was a little more filled out it was no less attractive. He found himself staring at her for a long time after the people obstructing his way had moved. Walking up behind her he lifted a hand to touch her shoulder, but at the last moment thought better of it and snatched his fingers back.

He sank back down into his chair and suggested, "Crepes?"

* * *

"_So, you managed to get away then?" he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She scrunched down further into the sofa and stared at the washing up liquid advert. He chuckled and leaned in close, whispering "Sorry, I suppose you don't want to talk about school," against her cheek before giving her a quick kiss. _

"_No" she agreed, squirming a little in an attempt to get him to back off without hurting his feelings. Not taking the hint Jake pulled her towards him, _

"_Not comfortable? Come over here" he intoned, lying back on the sofa. She lay beside him, head on his chest, and forced herself to relax. She listened to his heart beat for a few moments before he spoke again, "You look tired Becca. Beautiful" he added quickly, "but tired. I shouldn't have let you go alone." _

"_No, really, it was what I wanted..." she breathed, trying in vain to concentrate on the television but not able to fix on anything being said. Jake pressed a button on the remote and the screen went black. Silence seemed to hum through the room before he started speaking again, _

"_I still wish I'd been there for you. It must have been awful--" _

"_It wasn't so bad" she interrupted, trying to stop the conversation before the guilt in her stomach evolved into despair. _

"_I thought about you all weekend," he reached up a hand and started stroking her hair, "Nancy wanted to come down and join you... I reminded her of what you said but I had half a mind to agree with her just so I could come down too.. I missed you Becca." _

"_I missed you too." she echoed, closing her eyes at the lie. _

"_Next time you go down... I'd like to come too.." he admitted in a hushed voice, as if afraid she'd shout at him again, like last time, "I know you like to be alone with your parents but.. I hate being away from you" he hugged her tighter to his chest and she pulled back, feeling smothered, "Becca?" _

"_I'm ok" she pulled herself away from him, "Just... going to take a shower I think, wash school off of me" _

"_I don't mind." he said, staring up at her with wide pleading eyes, "Please, just relax here with me for a bit". Although the mere thought made her tense, she submitted and settled back into place at his side, his heartbeat back in her ear. "Oh, I have missed you," he repeated, pressing his lips against her head and smelling her hair. She closed her eyes and concentrated on not crying. _

"_I've missed you too"

* * *

_

The meal was over and they were walking in the City Park. It was enchanting, the night was lit up by the occasional lamppost and strings of little lights along the path to guide them. A few other couples walked near them and the roar of the traffic from the main road could still be heard in the distance, but overall it was a pretty secluded area. There was the calming smell of jasmine on the breeze. If both of them had not been feeling so uncomfortable it would have been perfect.

Becca placed her hand on his arm, but it stiffened under her touch so she removed it. It felt like the most awkward of dates. "This is lovely" she said, trying to coax him into speaking to her, but he seemed meditative and didn't answer. "Shall we sit down here?" she indicated a bench. It was situated on the edge of a small lake and overhung by trees, from the path it was half-invisible. He didn't disagree so they both sat down.

"Did I say something wrong at dinner?" she blurted out, "You seemed in such a good mood at first, I know I asked too many questions, it wasn't really my business, I just thought..." her voice trailed off, she wasn't sure what she'd thought.

"I told you not to expect much" he said, finally breaking his silence. She leant back against the bench and stared out at the lake, unsure of what to say. "I wanted us to part amiably... as friends," he admitted, "but I don't know if that's possible.."

"Of course it's possible," she insisted.

"No, it isn't" he said, and then with an ironic smile, "'The best of prophets of the future is the past'."

"Byron" she singled out after a pause, "A bit different from D.H. Lawrence and Shakespeare... You still like reading then?"

"I had a good teacher..." he said, voice breaking on the last word, "She... caught my imagination." He sucked in a breath of cold air and composed himself before finishing with a sigh, "Oh Becca, this isn't going to work.."

"Why?"

"Because... as childish as it is, I don't think I've forgiven you yet.." he sighed again and put his head in his hands. Indignant, she reminded him,

"But you said yesterday--"

"I said whatever I thought I needed to say to get you to leave me alone,". His head was still in his hands so he didn't see her stand up, but when she started walking away he called out, "Becca!" she didn't turn back, "Becca! What are you doing?"

"Leaving you alone!" she called over her shoulder.

"You don't even know where you're going!" he called back, but she didn't seem concerned. He stood up and watched her walk. The myriad of emotions in his chest gave him conflicting information. She'd find her way back to the hotel, it wasn't far, this was probably for the best, he hadn't really wanted to see her anyway--

Moments later he found himself jogging to catch up with her. She must have heard him approaching, but stubbornly she didn't turn around. He reached out and caught her wrist. She turned, but in doing so stumbled and ended up in his arms. For a split second they looked into each others eyes, hers angry, his confused. Then their lips met. Neither of them made the first move; it was a simultaneous action. One minute they were staring at each other, the next his arms were around her back and her hands were clutched behind his neck, holding his willing lips against hers. Every other kiss they had shared before was remembered and cast aside in comparison. When they finally broke apart they both had to catch their breath. Becca let out a relieved little laugh. Justin stared at her and asked "How did you do that?" amazement in his voice and expression.

"I know you too well" she answered, a playful smile on her lips.

Suddenly it all seemed so contrived. The storming off, the harsh words, the stumble. Justin drew back and looked at her. "You tricked me," he accused, his hands dropping back to his sides.

"I didn't force you to kiss me" she said, not disputing what he'd said but measuring her tone to try and make him less angry.

"No," he agreed, his face unreadable, "No, you didn't". Then he turned and stalked away. Becca stared after him. Just before he disappeared from sight she called his name, but he just carried on walking. She trudged back to the bench and sat down. Pressing a hand to her forehead she sighed. Ten minutes must have passed before she realised she didn't know the way back to her hotel.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews and kind words everyone, I'm glad people like the fic. Next chapter hopefully this week, although I make no promises...**


	4. Betrayals

Chapter Four:  
Betrayals

Justin dumped the book he'd been attempting to read beside him on the bed and glared up at the ceiling. Usually his day off was a time of enjoyment and distraction, even with Ella still working as she was now, but he couldn't seem to concentrate well enough on anything to be enjoyably distracted. Last night's kiss still seemed fresh on his lips, yet he hardly remembered what if felt like. The thing that stuck in his mind, seemingly insignificantly, was the way in which she'd sighed against his cheek before pulling away, her hot breath brushing his skin, the little contented sound that came from her mouth...

He got off the bed in one quick motion and strode over to the phone. His hand halted over the receiver though and instead started rifling through the pad of paper that recorded missed calls. One from Ella's brother, another from the restaurant manager, another from friend he'd met in Austria. The list went back months. It was hard to believe he'd been here for that long. It had always felt like a sizeable passage of time, but only since meeting Becca and being reminded of the past did he remember how long ago it actually was. He hadn't really meant for it to turn out like this.

He picked up the phone and dialled a number that he only vaguely remembered. Putting the receiver to his ear he heard it ring four times before a familiar voice asked, "Hello?"

"Hi mum," he said, and then listened to the sound of something smashing at the other end of the line.

_

* * *

Becca had just swallowed a spoonful of cereal when her mobile beeped. Jake looked up from his paper, first at it and then her, "Aren't you going to get that?". She glanced at 'Lucy' on the caller ID before turning the phone off._

"_No, don't recognise the number.." she said in an offhand voice. Jake sent her a bemused look before plucking the phone from her fingers, _

"_Maybe someone has just changed their number and is phoning to tell you," he explained, "I'll just see if I know who it is,". He turned the phone on and she sprang from her chair, it toppled backwards and fell to the floor with a bang. Leaning around the table she snatched the phone from his hand. Eyebrows raised he opened his mouth to ask her another question, so she leant in and kissed him. Fumbling around to put the phone in her pocket while their lips were still attached, she put her thumb into the cereal bowl and tipped the contents over the table and her blouse. _

"_Damn," she exclaimed, instinctively pulling away from him as she felt the milk seep through to her skin. Jake just smiled at her, eyes soft, and reached out to right the bowl. She looked down and his fingers were millimetres away from her dropped phone. It was now on again and showing 'missed call', "Er, Jake!" she said with a start, her mind racing, "...I'm going to need to change my top now... feel like helping me?" she uttered the last bit with a flirtatious look, but inside she was shaking. _

_Jake grinned at her, "Of course" before rounding the table. He'd undone two of her buttons before she added, _

"_Not here, in the bedroom." _

"_Here is fine with me," he breathed, face close to hers, "It's been a while since--" _

"_I'd rather the bedroom," she said, voice rising slightly. He kissed her, forcing his tongue into her mouth. In vain she reached behind him, trying to find the phone again, but he backed her away from the table and towards the bedroom. _

"_Anything you want," he said finally when he'd released her lips. He grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her after him. With a last despairing glance towards the phone she followed him into the bedroom. _

_She pushed him down onto the bed, the mattress sighing, and stood in front of him. His eyes were eager and his lips parted in anticipation. She undid the final buttons of her ruined blouse and pulled the garment off. He made a sound of appreciation before breathing, "Come here.." _

"_Jake, I--" _

"_Come here," he repeated, tugging off his shirt impatiently and then adding as an afterthought, "We don't have much time." _

"_Time," she echoed, trying to get her feet to work. Then the word struck her, time. She looked at the clock by their bed, "Oh, I'm going to be late!" she said, injecting panic into her voice. Quickly she turned and snatched another blouse from her open wardrobe. Before she could put it on he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her to him, _

"_You won't be late," he murmured, nuzzling the back of her neck. She shivered before she could stop herself, but he didn't appear to notice, his hands were roaming all over her body. She struggled free, _

"_I will be Jake, I'm sorry..." she put the blouse on and buttoned it up quickly, "After school, ok?" _

"_Fine," he growled, turning to find his T-shirt. For a moment she considered giving in, but a beeping from the kitchen settled her mind. She took two quick steps to silence the noise before Jake snapped, "Leave it!" _

_Becca turned and looked at him, he was glaring at her. The beat of her heart seemed to slow. Gradually his expression softened though, and he reached out a hand to pull her close. When in his arms he said into her hair, "I'm sorry, I'm not angry really..." _

"_I know," she breathed, attempting to hug him back convincingly. They stayed like that for a while before he pulled away and asked, _

"_After school then?" _

"_It's a date," she said with a smile. He gave her a small kiss on the lips before they both left the bedroom. Quickly she pulled on her coat, grabbed her bag and made for the door, barely exchanging goodbyes. Halfway down the steps she was stopped by a call from above, turning she saw Jake standing there, her phone in his hand. Panic flared up inside her, _

"_Jake I--" _

_He threw the phone down to her and she caught it at the last moment. "You forgot this," he explained, "you've got a missed call, someone called Lucy. Tell her your nasty husband wouldn't let you answer the phone," he joked before disappearing back into the flat. Becca pocketed the phone and hurried down the rest of the steps. Outside she gasped for air and leant up against the door for a second, but with curious glances coming her way she quickly hurried off, feeling as if she'd managed to hold onto her secret by the tiniest of fractions.

* * *

_

Liz stared down at the shattered casserole dish, her hands trembling. She reached out for a solid object to steady herself with and found the kitchen counter. At the end of the phone a voice asked if she was still there. Doing her best to remain upright she pressed the receiver tight to her ear and whispered, "Justin?"

"Yes. It's me," answered the voice. Her son.

"Oh God... Thank God... Justin, Justin, how are you!" tears of relief sprang into her eyes and rolled down her cheeks unchecked.

"I'm fine," he said impatiently, "Listen, mum--"

"Fine," she breathed with disbelief, "After three years of silence all I get is 'fine'.. and said as if I've been clinging onto you and not--" she broke off with a laugh.

"Don't get hysterical," Justin advised, unmoved by her speech. Liz swallowed, and now suitably calmed, moved her way to the kitchen table and sat down,

"Where have you been?--No, where are you now? Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes," Justin said, choosing just to answer the last question. He had expected this reaction and was intent on staying dispassionate, "Look mum, I didn't call to chat, I wanted to ask you something..."

"Didn't call to chat" Liz mimicked, hardly listening, "Jay, you have to give me something.." she heard him sigh on the other end of the line, but after at moment he said,

"I'm in Hungary. I work behind a bar, I live in a nice flat, I'm fine, really.."

"Hungary?" she repeated, taking in the information quickly before saying with a hint of confusion, "Isn't it dangerous there?"

"Not at all."

"It's so far away.. I thought you were just in London," she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and get a more emotional response. It didn't work.

"I was, for a bit."

"You must have done so much..."

"And you've just stayed in Chester, with--"

"--Yes."

"You're still together then?" he asked, hard voice softening a little as he was finally distracted.

"Surprised?"

"Well, after what happened last time? Yes."

"He really is different Jay--"

"--If you say so," he butted in, back to business.

"Jay--"

"How is everyone else in Chester?" he asked, attempting to sound innocuous.

"Oh, well..." Liz paused to think, Justin fiddled with the jar of pens by the phone keypad, endeavouring to remain calm, "Nicole Owen is getting married, do you remember her?" his lack of response forced her on, "And, er... Tony is on his third divorce... the Hunters moved back last year, that was--"

"Anyone else?" he asked quickly, putting himself forward a little more.

"Um... was there anyone in particular you wanted to know about..?" she asked, interest peaked a little now.

"No..no.." he lied, then, "Well... is Nancy Hayton still around? And, um, her sister?"

"I'm sorry, I don't remember, who was her sister?"

"My teacher..." he swallowed, "My English teacher.. Mrs Dean"

"Dean? Oh! I remember, married to one of Frankie's sons--"

"Yes, she was.." he murmured.

"--I think I saw him around the village a few weeks ago... Oh yes, they have a baby now--"

"They do!" Justin snapped, startled into raising his voice. He felt his insides going cold.

"I saw them outside Drive 'N' Buy with a pram.."

"Mum, are you sure it was Becca--Mrs Dean?"

"Yes! Blonde, pretty -- of course I remember, I went to parents evening you know!" she said indignantly. He was silent on the other end of the line and after a moment she calmed and asked tentatively, "Is it important?"

"No...No... I just wanted to catch up," he said, trying to give the impression of someone who'd just been asking to be polite.

"Can I have your number?" she asked into the silence, "I need to know how to get in touch... with you..."

"I don't know--"

"--Please Jay.."

"Mum, I--"

"Jay! You have to let me have some way of contacting you... if you don't want me calling, at least give it to me so I can pass it on to your sisters--you've not even asked about them.." her voice trailed off as she stared crying again. Justin considered how easy it would be to put down the phone again and shut his family out for another three years. Or longer. Liz sniffed loudly before asking, "Don't you want to know how they're doing?"

Justin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He felt the tendrils of his families lives pushing into his again. He'd worked so hard at forgetting them that it felt uncomfortable but inevitable, "Okay."

"Okay? Ok. Well... you're an uncle again - Sophie had another beautiful little girl, she looks like her sisters, blond hair and everything.. it feels like so long ago, she's eighteen months old now, her name is Bridget. I wish you could see her Jay--"

"How's Mel?"

"She's... better. Most of the time. She's still living with Sophie and Mike, the girls love having her around... and Sophie doesn't mind really, she likes to keep Mel close these days. The other week I--"

"Mum," Justin cut her off again, she seemed to be babbling to keep him on the line, "I have to go."

"Oh..." she deflated, "And the number?"

Justin read his number off quickly, hearing her scramble for a pen and paper, he didn't repeat it though, instead closing with, "Bye mum."

"I love you Jay," she said quickly.

"Yeah.." he hung up, unmoved by her closing sentiment. He lingered over the phone for a second before frustration burst over him suddenly and he stared pacing the room. It was a few minutes before the real reason for his anger became apparent. With his mother's emotional speech and distractions he'd almost forgotten...

"She lied to me.."

* * *

"_Becca!" _

_She looked up at her name being called with enthusiasm. Justin came bounding towards her, a silly grin on his face. She sent a cursory glance around and then motioned for him to follow her. She turned and started walking in the opposite direction that she had been travelling in, he stepped into line beside her. She offered a subdued "Hi", eyes on a group of year tens hanging around at the school gates, "What are you doing out here?" she asked after a pause. _

"_I was going to play football but there was no-one around..." he said, voice trailing off into silence. He was carrying a ball under one arm and looked like the archetypal boy with no friends in the playground. She sighed and he tugged with two fingers at the puckered elbow of her coat, "What's wrong?" _

"_I don't think I can see you tonight," _

"_Again?" _

"_Again," she confirmed, now doubling back and walking the way they'd come from. She was on duty. _

"_He can't just make you stay at home," Justin complained, turning with her. _

"_No." she agreed, before stopping and turning to face him, "I want to stay," she took in his hurt look before continuing, "It's all part of our cover Justin.." _

"_Sure," he snapped, before dropping his ball to the floor and kicking it away angrily, then following it's path off into the bushes. She watched him go and waited for him to come out again but when he did he walked off in the opposite direction to her, kicking the ball in front of him and not looking back. Becca bit the inside of her cheek and sniffed in a lung-full of the cool midmorning air to distract herself from her suddenly burning eyes.

* * *

_

When Ella returned home he was slumped in the chair by the door, nursing a bottle of pálinka. She gently lifted it out of his hand and placed it on the side. He didn't protest, though his eyes followed the bottle's progress, she had his best interests at heart as always. He allowed her to lead him to the bed, help him pull off his clothes, and settle down beneath the covers. She crawled in with him, despite being unready for bed herself, and moulded her body comfortably in next to his. Even with her lying beside him, Justin could not help his thoughts being fixed on Becca. This was the reason he'd not wanted to meet up with her in the first place, because he knew once he let her into his head, he'd not be able to get her out again.

How she could lie to him, he didn't know. He also didn't understand why. Perhaps she thought it would act as a gesture to make him happy. Perhaps she thought it would drive him wild to think of her unattached again. Both reactions had become sadly, secretly, true over the last few days, but were now safely locked away again. It was why she would go to so much trouble that he didn't understand. Their lives had clearly moved on so much that surely it would be an insignificance to her whether he was happy or not, whether he was jealous of her or not.

For fleeting moments he thought of her as a 'bitch'. As if this was all some game she was playing with him. But then his mind would flit back to that kiss, her hands on his body, her breath, her eyes shining up at him... and he'd soften. Maybe she was still unhappily married, maybe she wanted a second chance at leaving her husband for him. Or maybe she just wanted a second affair with him, maybe she was planning on using him and casting him aside like last time. The speculation infuriated him as he had no real idea of what she was thinking. It became worse when Ella came home and he thought of the betrayals he'd have committed days before if Becca had only asked him to. Even the small acts of unfaithfulness that he had already committed. He clung to Ella tightly in the bed, and reminded himself how lucky he was to have her. She had not played a game with anyone in her life.

Ella twisted in his arms and turned out the lights, before settling herself back into position. She rubbed his back soothingly and murmured comforting words into his ear. Even in this scene of perfection he wondered... If Becca continued with her charade, would he'd pull her up on it, or go along with it to see how long she'd persist for?

* * *

'_Sorry about earlier, see you tomorrow? - L' _

_Becca drew the covers around herself. Jake sighed in his sleep but didn't wake as his feet were exposed to the cold air. As slowly as she could manage, Becca reached into her bag under the bed and pulled out her phone. 'Can you see me now? - B' _

_She sighed and rolled over, head on her pillow and eyes on the ceiling. She didn't feel sleepy, but there was nothing else to do. The weight of Jake beside her in the bed felt like the weight on her conscience. Painstakingly she pulled out from under the covers and left the room, he did not stir. _

'_At your place? - L' _

_Becca walked around the apartment, bending here and there to pick up a discarded item of clothes and pull it on. The whole place was silent, Nancy was at Hannah's house. The air felt hot and low in oxygen. She felt stifled. _

'_No, yours. He's here - B' _

_Moving over to the sink she poured herself a glass of water. _

'_Mum is here. Out? - L' _

_Drinking it all down she felt the room start to spin. Her eyes stung but she couldn't bring herself to cry. It would just be too awful if he found her like that. She'd have to invent yet another lie. _

'_Too dangerous - B' _

_She moved over to the sofa and sat down, pulling a TV magazine from beneath her leg at the last moment. She glared at the cover for a second, then considered what to watch for the rest of the night to keep herself from thinking about him. _

'_See you tomorrow then - L' _

_Becca stared down at his last text and sighed before typing out a reply. She shifted to a more comfortable position on the sofa, stretching out until she was lying on her side with her head propped up on the armrest. While squirming to get comfortable she dropped her phone between a couple of cushions, fishing around for it she pulled out the TV remote as well. She turned it on and distractedly sent her last message as well. _

'_Sleep well J, see you tomorrow - B' _

_For a few moments she watched some late night cooking program with sign language, wondering if they sold dragon fruit at the local market, then a horrible, irrational thought struck her. She looked down at her phone accusingly, but it offered no clues. When she'd pressed 'send' she couldn't remember whose name was on the phone. She was usually very careful and double-checked every time but now it had slipped her mind and she was sure her fingers would have caught her out and scrolled one person too far on her menu. Or the jostling between the cushions would have put it straight onto Jake's number. It was a silly thing to think of, but her mind was panicking none-the-less. What if she'd sent it to Jake... he might identify himself as 'J' but the rest would be nonsensical and would require a good explanation. Maybe she could steal his phone and erase the message, he only kept it by their bed after all. She straightened in her seat, but then paused before getting up. What if she hadn't sent it to him, what if it had gone to someone else? Perhaps she should text J back and ask... _

_She sat, heart beating fast, and stared at the phone. But it was silent. She must have been mistaken. She clicked off the cooking program but then turned it back on again quickly, the silence being too much to cope with. The phone sprang into life in her hand and her heart raced into her mouth. She looked down slowly at the words, _

'_Mandy calling...'

* * *

_

**Author's Note: Sorry if this is a bit late, Easter and all... I've written half of the next chapter so hopefully that'll be quicker than this one.**


	5. Good Intentions

Chapter Five:  
Good Intentions

Becca decided that it was time for her to be firm with him. She had given him space and allowed him to walk away but this tactic did not appear to have worked. After finding her way back to the hotel from their 'date', she'd quickly and methodically gotten rid of all the vestiges of her holiday plans, the maps, guides, Internet printouts, and instead tried to work out a plan for getting him interested in her again.

She knew there was something there, the kiss had confirmed that. Before their night out she had worried that he wasn't interesting in her in that way anymore, but his eyes constantly on her and his kind attention soothed that fear. She felt confident now. His reluctance she attributed to a fear of getting hurt again.

She was not as cool about it as she seemed really, she did not expect it to be easy to get him back, but being proactive certainly beat sitting around and thinking about him all the time. When she stopped doing something, her hands stilling over her latest task, she'd remind herself that she was being an idiot. That it wouldn't solve anything. Every now and again she would begin to feel uncertain and her fingers would tremble when she re-lived the last time he'd been in her hotel room, but then she'd remind herself of the feel of his body pressed against hers the night before and she'd continue working.

If she was moving too fast, she put that down to her having so little time. Her holiday was up in a week. She had spent the whole of last night thinking it over. In a week she would have to go back. She did not want to be thinking about this for the rest of her life.

The masterplan was simple. To prove to him that she is serious she will seduce him with all of the tricks she knows. Then when his eyes are wide with affection again, she'll tell him that she still feels the same way. That she always has. _And then we'll live happily ever after._

Becca rolled her eyes to the heavens and stuffed a bundle of forint notes of various values into her purse. Being carried on by her train of industry, she tried not to think of how she would be lying to him. When she'd been happy with Jake, Justin had never entered her mind. To say that to him would be painful and to lie about her life with Jake would surely lead to problems down the line when it came out. It seemed like an impossible situation, but Becca felt confident enough in herself to work around it until it was inevitable to tell him that about her and Jake.

With a last check locks she stepped out of her hotel room. The cream walls and plaster decorations belied the hotel's mediocre stature. Everyone else checked in on her floor seemed to be students. Loud students. She passed one in the hall who seemed out of it already. If all she had to think about were holiday matters, then she might have minded. But she didn't. She looked down at the scrap of paper in her hand and recited the directions for the hundredth time. First stop was a clothes shop...

_

* * *

She ran her hand along his arm, his skin smooth under her touch. It was an half-hearted move. She was thinking about something else entirely. Sensing her departure he leant forward and pressed a light kiss to her neck. She smiled, but didn't look at him straight away. It felt too painful to be wrenched back from her thoughts of despair and placed in his arms, it was too perfect._

"_You were miles away" he commented, aware that she was back, "Thinking nice thoughts I hope.." _

"_How could I not.." she turned, lying on top of his bare chest and staring down into his face, "when I'm with you." she engaged him in a long, tender kiss. He disentangled his arms from the sheets and wrapped them around her. When finished he looked up at her curiously, although his expression said he was waiting for her to speak. She looked away from his eyes and studied his face for a moment before sliding off him and out of the bed. He watched her dress in silence. When she picked up her bag he propped himself up on an elbow and asked, _

"_Is this all I get then?" _

"_I have to get back." she explained, opening her bag as if searching for something. _

"_I know," he smiled ruefully, "But that isn't what I meant." _

"_I'll see you tomorrow Justin.." she said, closing her bag and walking towards the door. _

"_Becca.." he sighed, holding himself back and watching her retreating from his bedroom without a backward glance. He listened to her feet on the stairs, forcing himself to stay still so that he could hear if she changed her mind, and then flinging himself back onto the mattress petulantly when the front door closed and he was certain she'd gone.

* * *

_

Becca twisted in the changing room and looked at her profile in the mirror. The dress did not suit her at all, grey and low cut it had struck her as sensual on the hanger but now looked bulky and loose in all the wrong places. It was the second dress she'd tried on, the first had rustled too much - not so much whispering as shouting every time she moved. She was certain that she would find something that Justin would like.

His words from the day before in the hotel room came back to her. Maybe she was just being pathetic. Maybe she should just let him go. She was under no illusions that her motives centred more around making herself happy than making him so. What had made him happy before was being with her, it could be like that again. She would have to apologise some more of course... but the first step was getting him to listen to her. Getting him to pay attention. She turned in the mirror, looking over the classic 'little black dress'. It would do.

She felt like she was on a mission and although she was aware that she might have a bit of jungle fever, she could not stop herself. If she could just have him back she could make everything right again.

Becca paid for the dress with a handful of notes, then set off towards his restaurant. Holding back all of the feelings that were telling her that this was a bad idea.

* * *

"_You've been avoiding me." _

_Becca turned quickly, dropping her books on the her desk. Justin was seated at the back of the empty classroom, leaning back in his chair and glaring at her. _

"_I saw you yesterday" she reminded him, fiddling with the stationary in front of her and not meeting his eye. She heard him stand up and then the sound of clothes being removed, looking up she saw he was dumping his coat on a chair. Realising he had her attention Justin walked slowly over to the door and locked it. They both knew she had no class coming up, so she could not use that excuse. _

"_Yesterday was a bit of a throwback.." he said softly, walking to one of the front desks and slowly seating himself on top of it, "..Not that I'm against quickies--" he rolled his tongue behind his teeth in a smirk, "--but you seemed a bit preoccupied." _

"_Sorry" she offered, eyes back on her desk, every inch holding the posture of someone who does not wish to talk. _

"_And now you're being difficult again.. If I did something wrong just say so Becca, sulking about it is no good." _

"_Nothing is wrong Justin," she looked up at him now, injecting as much sincerity as possible into her words. Glancing over at the window in the door, she then beckoned for him to come closer. He did not hesitate and soon they were inches apart. She dragged her chair back until it was out of view of the door and then pushed him down into it. She slid into his lap slowly, then wrapped her fingers around his tie, slowly loosening it. He seemed enchanted for a few moments, then the solemn look reappeared on his face. He pushed her hands away, _

"_You're trying to distract me," he accused, at the same time wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tight to him so she could not escape and change tact again. _

"_I'm trying to make it up to you," she murmured, shifting a little in his lap, then resting her head on his shoulder, "I have been moody. But it's nothing to do with you" she kissed his neck but he pulled away again. She sighed, "Really Justin." _

"_I can't help feeling," he admitted, "that there is something you're not telling me." _

"_That's your problem, not mine," she snapped, before closing her eyes and biting her tongue in regret, "Look, Justin.." she opened her eyes again and locked gazes with him, "It's hard for me, being back here after that weekend. I'm just adjusting back to how it was... Sneaking around, lying to people, keeping secrets.." _

"_It won't be for long.." he said, half reassuring her and half himself. His eyes searched her face for some kind of lie, but her reply was said with such little emotion that he could not tell if she believed it or not, _

"_No, it won't." _

"_It would be quite nice to know when though.." he said, almost forgetting the purpose of this inquisition and spinning the conversation around onto himself, "When we can be together properly..." _

"_Justin I--" _

"_You don't know," he repeated from earlier conversations, his tone resigned. _

"_All you need to know now," she said, moving on his lap until she was facing him, "is that," her eyes shone as she stared at him, "I love you Justin." All his resolve melted away at those words, his intentions to be relentless and unforgiving softened. He smiled, _

"_Say it again." _

"_I love you Justin," she said with a grin, noting his change of mood. He kissed her, tongue flitting between her lips for the briefest of moments before he requested eagerly, _

"_Again." _

_She laughed, cupped his face in her hands and said in a tone of mock-seriousness, "I love you Justin Burton." Her follow-up giggle was smothered by another, longer kiss from him. When they broke apart his eyes were hazy, and she didn't feel like laughing anymore. _

"_I love you Becca," he breathed, and they stared at each other for a second, mutual affection passing between them, before they descended into another long kiss, but this time with their hands as busy as their lips.

* * *

_

Becca stared out over the bridge at the running water below, standing on her tiptoes so she could lean over the side. This must have been the same river they'd kissed by the day before, but further down the bank. The wind blew her hair backwards over her face. She dumped her bags onto the pavement to right it again. Leaves, twigs, ducks and a peddalo passed below her before she straightened up, tided her clothes and picked up her shopping again. The locals passing by seemed to ignore her, they were probably used to tourists doing strange things. The busy road behind her had slowed so she quickly darted across. Was she wrong to be so confident about this?

It was certainly a nice place to live. As cities go the air was clean, the architecture pleasant (in some places beautiful) and the population friendly and not too overcrowded. He could make a good life for himself here. He probably already had. But she could not stay, she had to go back. It would not be fair to drag him back too, she might not even be able to.

But if he wanted to come... If he wanted to, then she had to try. She had talked herself out of it once before. She had pulled back and lost time, now she needed to put herself forward. That might be all he needed. To see she was serious.

Getting his number at the restaurant had been easy. Some man had just reeled it off to her, along with his address, as she scribbled it onto a napkin. He hadn't even asked why she'd wanted it, which was probably a good thing as she had a completely implausible cover-story ready.

Becca reached the hotel doors and checked her watch. It was 4:50pm. She had two hours until her plan went into effect. Her heart pounded with anticipation. But it was going to work, she knew it.

* * *

"_You have to end it." _

"_I know... but I don't know how... and if I can do that to him... everyone would hear about why we got a divorce.." _

_Mandy stared at her, thrown for a second, then qualified, "With Justin, Becca, you have to end it with Justin." She eyed her friend with scrutiny, Becca recoiled at her words, her face going blank. "Do you love him?" Mandy pried. Becca only looked at her with ashamed tears in her eyes. _

_Mandy sighed, "It will never work Becca--" _

"_--I know--" _

"_--No. Never, ever work." Mandy made a chopping motion with her hand. _

"_Do you think I don't know that?" _

"_You don't seem to, seeing as you're still sleeping with him..." _

"_I'm not happy Mandy..." _

"_Is that because of your marriage, or because of your affair?" _

"_Can you just try... to stop judging me for a minute?" Becca pleaded, aware her friend was trying to help but not finding it of any use. Mandy tilted her head to one side, expression still fixed in the same way it had been when she'd confronted her friend minutes earlier, hard and incredulous. _

"_Jake is completely suffocating.. every little thing he does at the moment annoys me, and that's probably due more to my perception changing than a chance in his behaviours, but I don't know if I can stand that for another fifty years..." _

"_Marriage can take time.." Mandy allowed, "Tony and I have had our rough times... I never slept with someone else though.." _

"_Well," Becca soldiered on, ignoring the comment, "I'm not sure if I want to take time with Jake.." _

"_But you do with Justin?" _

"_Surely being with someone you love is all that matters," said Becca, not really believing the words as she spoke them but thinking them up as something beautifully idealistic that Justin would say to allay her fears. _

"_That's a bit naive for you Becca. We're not sixteen anymore Becca, we know that isn't the case. What about what your parents will say? Your other friends? His family? This could even go to the police -- Love won't get you a job when no school will hire you, you'll be on the sex offenders register!" she sighed, "I'd have thought you'd have worked this out months ago." _

"_I think I probably pushed it to the back of my mind..." Becca admitted, deflated. Mandy wasn't finished though, she leant forward and grasped her friend's hand, _

"_Everything you've worked for - your degree, your teaching qualifications - will all be worthless. Stay with him and you'll have to rely on a lovesick schoolboy with a few GCSEs and a bad rep, who will probably grow bored of you by the time you're thirty and he's in his early twenties. And don't say he's not like that!" Mandy snapped as Becca opened her mouth, "He's sixteen, who knows what he'll be like in six years time? He doesn't even know." _

"_I want something more than this Mandy," Becca exclaimed as she finally got a chance to speak, "When I'm with him I see... Something more than this dull married life.. " _

"_How can you get that with him? Something more? You can do what you like Becca, divorce Jake, leave Chester, travel the world... you're young, beautiful, educated... What can you do with a sixteen year old in tow, no money and the police hanging on your back?" Now Mandy shrugged and pulled back, "I can't make you do anything Becca. But please think about it, maybe I sound harsh, but I'm trying to be a good friend to you. You have to think about your future." _

_Becca had thought that Mandy would appeal to her feelings for Jake, or her family, or tell her how much her decision would impact those around her. All those things she'd agonised over painstakingly and repeatedly. This different angle was surprising and devastating, mostly because the majority of what she said was right and she could not argue against it. _

"_Do you think I'm a bad person Mandy?" Becca asked the duvet, unable to lift her eyes. Mandy finally broke into a sympathetic smile and reached out for her friend, _

"_No, I just think you're a lost, unhappy one." She patted Becca's hand reassuringly, "But don't worry, we'll sort this out." _


	6. Happy Ending

NB: I have changed the rating of this story from T to M due to the content of this chapter. Sorry if this puts anyone off reading it. My reclassification may be overly cautious, but better safe than sorry.

Chapter Six:  
Happy Ending

It took a few moments before Justin opened the door. Becca had stared at it for a couple of minutes before knocking and the extra wait made her fidget. Her nerves were only exaggerated by the annoyed look he gave her as a greeting.

"Hi, Justin.." she said, starting off softly. He was silent for a moment, then he asked what she wanted, voice still annoyed, "I wanted to... see you again."

"What for?"

"I think, there is still some stuff to say."

"I've said everything I want to," he snapped.

"Well...some stuff _I_ want to say then.." she murmured, voice near a whisper now. She'd not expected him to be so angry.

"I think we covered everything yesterday."

"Please Justin, I just want to talk..." the depth of his annoyance surprised her, it wasn't as if he'd not been into the kiss at the time, "Are you really still angry about yesterday?"

He leant against the frame of the door and stared at her. She was wearing a long coat, had her hair pinned back and was fiddling with the clasp of her bag nervously. He didn't know how she'd found him, but it didn't really surprise him to see her there. Ella was out, letting her in would be harmless. Getting her to leave again would be tricky. The truth would have to come out. He should just turn her away, but he was curious.

"Yes. I am."

"Well, can we talk about it..?" she offered, moving closer to him. The room behind him was dark, no lights were on and the curtains were drawn. She wondered what he was doing when she'd arrived. Sleeping probably.

He gave her one last, long look, then moved aside and allowed her in. She brushed past him as she entered, trailing a hand over his chest. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she was already inside the flat, making herself comfortable, and didn't notice his reaction.

* * *

"_Mrs Dean!" _

_Becca took a sharp breath and closed the door to the stock room quickly. She tried to find the right key on the ring to lock it but her hands were shaking and they all squirmed around in her palms. In vain she tried the wrong one, scraping at the metal of the keyhole, and then gave up and turned quickly down the corridor. Out of the corner of her eye she had seen Justin fighting his way towards her. She was surrounded by students making their way to second lesson and found it hard to hurry away. _

"_Mrs Dean!" Justin called again, this time closer. She manoeuvred her way around two boys sharing a magazine and a group of girls who were laughing loudly. She clutched the pile of paper she'd just collected to her chest and squeezed past a line of children intent on walking shoulder-to-shoulder. Justin called her again, louder, and a group of year tens sent a surprised look her way as she carried on walking. They were attracting too much attention. _

"_Becca!" _

_She ground to a halt, coldness washing over her. It took her a few moments to realise that everyone wasn't staring at her, wasn't working it all out. Then Justin was at her elbow. _

"_Didn't you hear me calling?" he asked, breathless and with a grin on his face, he touched her arm slightly and she flinched back. _

"_What do you want Justin?" she asked loudly, watching the other pupils filing past them. _

"_I..." Justin looked around, the good humour gone from his face and replaced by concern, he lowered his voice to a whisper and moved a little closer to her, causing her to suck in another calming breath, "I wanted to see you, talk to you.." _

"_In the corridor? In front of everyone?" she snapped, whispering in turn and then adding in a louder voice, "Oh yes, that homework is in on Friday." _

"_I didn't say anything bad," Justin continued in a whisper, a bemused expression on his face. The last classroom door in the corridor closed and finally she looked at him. He looked good. Sensing he had her attention finally he smiled and reached out to touch her, she stepped away. _

"_You called me Becca," she accused, annoyed, "in front of everyone." _

"_No-one noticed," he protested. _

"_You'd better get to your lesson, this just looks even more suspicious." Becca started walking again to her classroom but was stalled when he called after her, _

"_Becca.." in an urgent half-whisper. She turned slightly and glared at him. He stared at her for a second, narrowed his eyes then corrected himself and called louder, "Mrs Dean." She walked off around the corner and thought she'd gotten rid of him before a shout echoed around the hallway, "Mrs Dean!" and she heard a noise that sounded like a school-bag being thrown against a wall. She hurried away.

* * *

_

"What was it you wanted to say?" he asked, nonchalant to the point of rudeness. He stood by the dresser and poured them both a drink, even though she'd not asked for one. She was leaning up against the wall, looking around his apartment, apparently now unwilling to talk. He offered her a glass but she just looked at it. He shrugged and downed the contents of his own. He'd reached for the bottle and begun to pour a second glass before she spoke,

"I brought some wine you know," he glanced up at her and she pulled a bottle out of her bag, "Seems silly now though," she placed it down on the dresser and turned so that only her right shoulder was leaning against the wall, eyes fixed on his large collection of spirits.

"We're well stocked," he admitted with continuing disinterest.

"We?" she asked, cocking her head to one side.

"Hope you haven't got a romantic picnic in there as well," he said, ignoring her question and nodding to the bag as his hand reached for the wine bottle.

"No," she said shortly, then dropped the bag to the ground carelessly, "I'm getting the feeling that wouldn't have gone down well."

"What are you doing here Becca?" he asked, glancing up sharply and catching her eyes with his own.

"Taking my one last chance," she said, smiling sadly, "how am I doing?"

"Awfully," he answered, taking a sip of the wine.

"Thought so," she said, nodding. Slowly she unbuttoned the front of her coat, peeled it back from her shoulders and dropped it to the floor, "I thought I'd be more nervous though, so that's a plus," under the coat she was wearing a tight black dress, cut at a slant above her knees and dipping low at the back. He looked at her, sucking in the comment that had just come to his lips, his eyes lingered over the curve of her hips. Finally he asked,

"What are you doing Becca?"

"I had this whole plan worked out... this, seduction plan... but when I got here, with you... it didn't seem necessary."

"I think you should leave," he said. Neither of them moved.

"Do you?"

"Things are different now Becca," he tried to explain, voice finally loosing it's hardened quality, "I'm different. It's not like you can just--"

"I get it, it won't change anything," she parroted at him, rolling her eyes and smiling before becoming serious again, "Can't I at least try..?" she straightened and took a couple of steps towards him.

"It won't work." he protested, frozen to the spot.

"Can't I try?" she repeated softly, now inches away from him. He opened his mouth to protest weakly again, but she leant forward and placed her lips on his. They kissed, once quickly, and then again, slowly. He reached out and pulled her tightly against him. One handed she pulled the clasp from her hair and let it fall down to her shoulders, he ran his fingers through it for a second before they broke apart. She smiled then started undoing the buttons of his shirt.

"Stop," he said, holding her hands away from his body and looking down at her seriously, "You want this?"

"Yes," she said with stubborn certainty on her face. He nodded and let her hands go, giving in instantly. They were both adults now, no point in holding her back if she wanted this again. To him, it mattered very little how they parted, but he was still male and there was still something there, he would not turn her down if she offered herself to him. His conscience was clean.

He slid a hand up the outside of her leg and under her dress until it rested on her backside. Then he pushed in close to her until she sighed. Her eyes fixed on his in an disconcertingly open way, he felt as if he could not shake off her gaze, and he changed his strategy. Hands on her waist he half pushed, half carried her backwards until her back hit a wall. She let out a soft grunt and, broken from his spell, reached up to pull his lips down to hers. He pressed his lips against hers hard, but that only seemed to add to her enjoyment. Slowly he pushed a hand up her inner-thigh and beneath the dress. She shuddered against him and let out another little moan, after a few seconds he snatched his hand back again.

Once he'd found the zip at her back he undid it, then took hold of the loose edges of the dress. Slowly he peeled it away from her curves, but hardly took in the view as her hands clasped at his face and her lips maintained their attention to his, first offering series of small kisses, then longer more romantic ones that left him panting. The dress had now fallen to the floor, and she stepped out of it, kicking the garment to the side with one of her heels. Clumsily he undid her bra, then allowed her hands to guide his to her chest. She was still under his touch for a moment before grabbing at the lapels of his shirt and tugging until all the buttons had either come undone or torn off. Leaning forward she kissed hungrily from the nape of his neck, feeling his pulse with her tongue, down to his bellybutton. He pushed her back gently and waited until she's straightened, her attention focused on his eyes again he then pulled her up into his arms with a grunt, her legs wrapped instinctively around his waist. They moved to the bed.

* * *

"_...and that's why, despite their passion, they can never be together." _

"_Good Laura," praised Becca with an encouraging smile. The girl at the front of the class returned the smile weakly then bent over her copy of the text to make some kind of note. Becca turned around to face the white board behind her, on which six bullet points were written. She looked at the last one for a moment, the class silent behind her, then asked, "Ok, last one. 'Is Edgar Linton a sympathetic figure? How does he compare to Heathcliff? Is Catherine really in love with him?'" she turned and nodded to the boy nearest the door, "Sam, what do you think?" the boy took a moment to panic then opened his mouth, but before he could speak he was interrupted, _

"_Why don't you ask me what I think?" _

_Becca pursed her lips and without looking at Justin answered, "Let's hear what Sam has to say first." _

"_But I had my hand up," protested Justin, "for all of the questions." _

"_Let's have someone who hasn't spoken yet--" Becca reasoned calmly, still not looking at Justin. _

"_I haven't spoken yet!" _

"_I mean on this text." Becca continued, voice straining to be composed. _

"_He answered a question last week about the... ghost thingie." Justin complained. _

"_Yeah, I did." agreed Sam, looking relieved. _

"_Shut up Justin," Nancy hissed from the back of the class. Becca sent a worried glance her way before finally shooting a glare at Justin, he replied with one of his own. _

"_I'd like him to answer this question Mr Burton, if that is all right with you." _

"_I don't mind.." Sam mumbled, fiddling with the notes on his desk as if he'd like nothing more than to take in some of Justin's wisdom. Now that she had acknowledged Justin, Becca sent him a 'what are you doing?' look, which he replied to with a shrug and a smirk. _

"_Fine." Becca leant against her desk and looked at Justin, "What do you think then?" _

"_Of course she doesn't love Edgar, he's a wuss." _

_Becca forced a smile as a couple of the girls in the classroom giggled, "She thinks he's kind, good looking, has nice manners... The passion is there with Heathcliff, but she marries Edgar she because can't see any future between them." _

"_But that all changes after she's married." _

"_Yes. It is certain that Cathy loves Heathcliff, but still they do not end up together. And their feelings cause much hurt to those around them, Edgar, Isabella, the children. And of course she dies, and he ends up bitter and twisted." _

"_That wasn't your question," Justin murmured quietly, watching her carefully. _

"_It is a discussion question Justin, we are discussing," she glanced around the room and added hopefully, "Anyone can join in." _

"_Couldn't Heathcliff and Cathy have ever been together? You know, like at the beginning?" asked Laura, "It just, doesn't seem like such a big deal to me, all that stuff she's moaning about." _

"_I think she does what she thinks is best for both of them. Remember he wasn't supposed to overhear that conversation, when she says it would be degrading to marry him, maybe if circumstances had been different then it would have worked, she would have changed her mind. But once she's married, it's too late. That brings us to one of our themes I think," Becca picked up a pen and rounded the desk towards the white board, "the Destructiveness of Love--" _

"_I've changed my mind, Catherine is the wuss," Justin said loudly, causing her to turn on her heal and stare at him, he matched her stare, "She's weak, she deserves to be dead, she can go to hell," Justin snapped, glaring at her. The classroom erupted into laughter, suddenly the fact that they were in a room with lots of people became apparent. _

"_Outside Justin please, you've disrupted enough of my lesson." Becca snapped, walking to the door and holding it open for him. _

_Justin looked at her, shocked for a moment, then with a scowl nosily packed up his bag and walked out of the classroom. The discussion still reverberating around the room allowed him to hiss, "What the hell was that about?" to her without being heard by anyone else. She shut the door on him without giving a reply.

* * *

_

She watched his profile as he poured them both a drink, silently content. The sheets were smooth and comfortable around her, but after a moment alone in the bed she squirmed and patted a hand against the mattress encouragingly. Somehow he managed to force out a smile with no humour in it and walked slowly back to her side, two brimming glasses with him, the contents spilling down the sides and onto his hands. She took the glass intended for her and placed it on the bedside table impatiently. She dragged his free hand to her lips and licked up a drop of wine working its way down his wrist. He looked at her for a moment, then broke into a more genuine smile.

"That's better," she grinned, pulling him a little further into the bed and causing more of his wine to spill, "I knew I'd win you over," the smile dissolved from his face once more and she sensed he was about to offer some dissenting voice, so as distractingly as possible she set about finding all of the places on his body that the wine had fallen on.

Ten minutes later she dragged a hand through her hair, attempting to straighten it, then lay her head down on his chest with a sigh. His arm seemed to hesitate before wrapping around her, but when it did she pressed in close to his body and smiled, "You ruined my holiday."

"Did I?" .

"Yep. I was going to see all of these places, these grand and beautiful things.. but ever since I saw you behind that bar, I couldn't concentrate on anything else. Didn't want to concentrate on anything else," she twisted in his grip and kissed his chest, "Don't worry though, I don't hold it against you... you're very distracting."

"Ah, you remember,"

"I remember everything," she said, trailing a hand over his stomach.

"So do I," he said, playfulness gone from his voice. They remained silent for a few moments, awkward, then he added, "That's all in the past now though,"

"Yes," she smiled brightly, hardly managing to take in the forgiveness before he pulled away from her to drink from his glass.

"We're all even now," he commented after swallowing, "No bad feelings,". She frowned a little, but was distracted from deciding what he meant when his blue eyes appeared in front of hers again, and he kissed her tenderly. She wrapped her arms around him as the kiss intensified, but after a few moments he pulled back and looked down at her, "Did you plan all of this?"

"I had lots of plans," she pulled his head down so that their lips were almost touching, his hot breath on her mouth, "This time... I planned everything,"

"So what happens now?" his eyes flicked from hers to her mouth and back again, "In your plan..?"

"Well," she grinned, "last time we missed a few steps... this time I think we can manage the whole thing," she pulled his head down the final centimetres and their lips met again.

* * *

"_I saw Justin Burton waiting outside your classroom today," Mrs Webster said, sitting down next to Becca in the staff room and pulling out a lunch box from her bag, she took a second to plump up a couple of squashed sandwiches before continuing, "I assume you sent him out for being disruptive. Anything I should worry about?" _

"_What?" Becca jolted at the mention of Justin's name, then recovered to say, "No, no, not at all." _

"_Well, he has been in trouble in the past, so I thought I'd better ask," Mrs Webster took a bite of her sandwich then spoke through the mouthful, "I was worried he'd be more of a trouble maker when he got older, but this last year," she paused to swallow, "you seem to have been a positive effect on him." _

"_I only have him for a couple of classes a week," Becca mumbled, shuffling through a pile of marking and attempting to look busy. _

"_You do quick work, we'll all be sending you our problem students soon," Mrs Webster chuckled encouragingly. Becca leant over her work and soon enough Mrs Webster took the hint and moved around the room to talk to Mr Hatherton. When she felt the other woman move from her side, Becca sighed a quiet relieved sigh. She felt as if everyone wanted to speak to her about Justin, as if he was haunting her through the whole school. She'd called one of her year thirteens 'Justin' today, then corrected herself to 'Jake', which was even worse. She'd had to turn off her phone as it was now being bombarded with texts every ten minutes from 'Lucy' wanting to know why she wasn't talking to him. It would have to be today, she'd have to do it now. Another moment of this and she felt that she would go mad, felt that she'd shout out 'I'm sleeping with Justin Burton' to the whole school in assembly just to stop the nagging thought in her mind that someone might know. _

_Becca reached tentatively for her phone, switched it on and turned it to silent while her inbox filled. She cleared all of the messages then typed out, 'Tonight, your place - B' and waited for the confirming reply. Her eyes roamed over the collection of workbooks in front of her, some were blank save for a name, others were completely covered in black ink as a product of boredom. Most had doodles on, faces, animals, love hearts and acronyms. Justin's had a figure of a stickman kicking a football into a lopsided goal. She hoped that she was doing the right thing. For Jake she was, for Justin she was, although he'd not see it that way now, for herself she was, if she ignored her emotions for a while. She thought about all the ways she could do it, straight away, post-coital, make him want to dump her, lie to him, tell him the truth... She thought about the ways in which she wouldn't do it, in which they'd meet tonight and he'd make her feel wonderful again and she'd forget that they were ever meant to break up, because all that was nonsense really... _

'_Will be there - L' _

_She had to do it. She was resolved. There was no other way. No other way to know whether her life like this could work. To know whether her marriage could work. She was just scared. If it failed as well, she'd have nothing. She was running away right now. He would be fine. He would be better off. They both would really.

* * *

_

Becca stretched out on the sheets, relaxed and contented finally. Beside her Justin ran a lazy hand down her arm. She turned to say something to him but was stopped by the beeping of a phone. He climbed out of bed and picked his trousers up off the floor, rummaging around before pulling a mobile out of his pocket. She watched him as he read the message, eyes roaming over his body. Everything was as she remembered it. He didn't seem to notice the attention though, he was engrossed in the text message. He smiled and typed a message back, and curiosity getting the better of her she asked, "Who is it?"

"My fiance" he explained. At her silence he glanced up from the phone and the smile on his face faded into an expression of condescending patience, "What? Did you think there would be a happy ending between us?"

Gasping she scrambled out of the sheets and grabbed at the clothes on the floor. Hardly knowing how she managed it she pulled her dress on, then fumbled around for the smaller articles, her bra, bag, coat and shoes. Her hands were shaking. Tears rolled unchecked down her cheeks, crouching down to pick up the clothes she looked up at him through blurry eyes. He turned half-away from her and put the phone to his ear, after a few seconds he said "Hello sweetheart,"

She turned and ran from the room, the door closed fast behind her with a loud slam but she hardly heard it. She ran down the first flight of stairs with no shoes on but when she got to a landing she paused and pulled them onto her feet. Running again she grabbed at the wall, the heals twisting under her feet like they had minds of their own. Disorientated, she didn't know where she was until she burst through a door into the cool night air. The car-park was dark, it must have been at least 11pm. Only pausing for a second she took in the expensive looking cars that surrounded her and then took off running again. She made it ten metres before she fell over on the gravel. The sharp stones dug into her bare legs and made them bleed, she grabbed the things in her hand tight to her chest. The cry that she'd let out when she fell turned into a sob, the tears had stopped while she ran but now her face was soaking and cold. She wiped her right eye and a black smudge of mascara came off on her fingers. Her hands were shaking.

* * *

"_Why wouldn't you talk to me?" he asked, tears clouding his eyes. _

"_I.." she put her bag down slowly on the sofa, "had a lot to think about." _

"_It's over then?" _

"_Justin--" _

"_Stop," in an instant his face was inches away from hers, "You're always thinking about this," he slid his arms around her but she resisted his hug, "why can't you just enjoy it? We have been so... happy." the last word was said mournfully, his eyes stared into hers, the tears now tracking down his cheeks. With an effort she pulled herself away. _

"_You were happy... I had to hold us together, I was anxious all the time, sick with worry. I have so much to lose. It isn't worth it--" _

"_You were happy." he insisted, voice incredulous, "Do you think I'd do anything if I thought it was upsetting you? When we were away you were happy--" _

"_For a bit, but it wasn't real Justin--" _

"_Don't make this out to be something it wasn't. Some sort of fantasy in my head. We love each other!" _

"_It isn't enough." now she moved closer to him, but her face and voice were calm when she repeated, "Justin, it isn't enough." _

"_You thought so before.. you tried to walk away so many times, I gave you every chance, but you came back every time.. It is enough Becca. It's all that matters.." _

"_Stop being so naive! This isn't a play, a book, a happy ending... My marriage, my family, my friends, my job, my home--" _

"_I've heard this list before. Usually right before you kiss me" _

"_Not this time." _

"_You'd give us up for a quiet life?" _

"_For a real life, yes." _

"_You think pretending every day is real? Pretending you're happy with them... with him..." _

"_It's better than this." _

"_Is this about your lesson today? I'm sorry, I don't know why I--" _

"_No, it's not," she reached out to touch him, but this time it was his turn to flinch away. _

"_I can't believe you're breaking up with me.." his voice broke and he pushed a hand over his forehead in distress, "After everything... everything we've been through... and it going so well now.." _

"_I'm sorry." _

"_Don't be sorry. Just take it back.." _

"_Don't beg Justin--" _

"_Take it back and we can be together again.." _

"_You need to find someone else." _

_Justin stared at her, incredulous, then marched out of the door without looking back. Becca sunk to the floor and stared at her hands. They were steady, they were fine, but they looked so far away from her._


	7. Remains

Chapter Seven:  
Remains

Justin put down the phone with a gentle click and looked at the closed door to his apartment. Slowly, methodically, he turned and started to make the bed. Only halfway through did he stop himself, realising Ella's admission of having to work late gave him a large amount of time in which to stew before tidying up. He did however take her glass of untouched wine and start to drink from it. He sat down on the bed, shoving a pillow between his back and the wall, and glared at the tangled sheets beneath him.

He could have pretended that he'd told her in the way that he had for her own good. To make a clean break. But that would not be true, there would have been kinder ways. This method of punishment had been spur of the moment, but it had been effective. The way she'd ran off had made him feel a little cruel at having revealed it in the way he had, but better to get in that hurt now than have her return to Chester thinking that she again was the one dumping him. His resentment towards her was still there, if a little confused by other feelings now. The goodbye-sex for example, had been a welcome surprise, but still hadn't changed his emotions. In a way he thought less of her, for sleeping around now that she had a child, but then again he was the one cheating on his new fiancée. Her taking her wedding ring off before arriving had been a nice touch though. Then again she was an old pro at this stuff.

Proposing to Ella hadn't been romantic, he had little heart in him for big gestures these days, but it had felt right. Vaguely he'd always known that he wanted to have a wife and family some day, and Ella would be perfect in both of those roles. Hearing of Becca's continuing marriage only strengthened an idea that he'd had in his head for a while, the idea of finally settling down. Giving up on leaving Becca, and just forgetting about her all together. Soon everything to do with Chester and England and her would be behind him, and he'd have a family here, a future to look forward to, a normal life.

She would go back to him of course. They would be together forever it seemed, no matter how unhappy she clearly was with it. But that was no longer his problem.

* * *

_Justin waited, knowing that she'd come out at any moment, but fearing that he'd missed her, even though that was impossible. He'd been waiting for forty-five minutes already, wrapped in his coat in the cold morning air and dragging his school-bag along the concrete pavement. _

_Finally she opened the door and stepped out. She looked tidy, rested and ready for another normal school day, stack of folders under one arm and handbag over the other. He felt rough just looking at her neatly pinned hair and ironed shirt. _She'd _not been up all night. He walked forward, casually in-case Jake was watching, and attempted to catch her eye. He was ready to spring forward as soon as she attempted to ignore him, but she looked at him straight away, with no pretence at not seeing him, and took in his face fully with no show of recognition taxing her features. She continued walking as if he was not there. Stunned, he followed a few steps after her, but she did not turn around or acknowledge him in any way. He opened his mouth to call after her, but at that moment Jake appeared coming out of Drive 'N' Buy with a plastic bag. He spotted her and called, "Hello babe," causing her to stop and kiss him on the cheek. Justin did not bother getting close enough to listen to their conversation, instead hurrying on to school, not noticing her glance at his back as he disappeared around the corner. _

* * *

Becca almost fell into her room, so eager was she to be alone. The receptionist had given her a curious look, as had a couple of the guests still hanging around the lobby, when she'd stumbled in through the doors moments before. She had avoided their gazes but that had probably only heightened their interest. Fumbling around she turned on the lights and flung her bag to the floor. She dropped the shoes from her hands, articles that she'd pulled off soon after falling for a second time on her way back to the hotel, attracting yet more attention. She shut the door behind her and leant back against it. Tears started to well up in her eyes as soon as she'd caught her breath, but she forced them back, instead choosing to kick out at her bag on the floor and watch it scoot a couple of inches forward on the carpet.

She stripped off her coat, with none of the coy aplomb of hours before, and threw it to the floor. Her reflection in the mirror by the door attempted to move into view but she blocked it with a hand and hurried forward to shut her curtains and close out the city. Once done the room felt isolated and safe and she allowed a few tears to fall again. But she wasn't thinking about them really, she was wondering where she'd gone wrong. It must have been seven years ago. That was when she'd ruined everything. Now he was so far away from her, getting married in another country, and she was feeling the same as she'd always done. Unable to love him. She had no-one to blame but herself for his cruelty, she had made him that way. Years ago she'd made him that way.

There was nothing else to do but leave.

* * *

_Becca opened the door and Justin forced his way past her and into the flat. Without turning to look at him she closed the door again quickly. Behind her she heard a soft thud, and turned to see him sitting on the sofa, arms crossed with his back to her. Carefully she moved to have him and then whispered as if afraid to wake someone up, "You can't be here, Jake will be back in a minute.." _

"_Don't give me that," he snapped, arms tightening over his chest, "I saw him go out to work a couple of minutes ago. He won't be back for ages. I remember," with the last two words he sent a look towards her bedroom where he'd spent plenty of time being assured that Jake was hours away. _

_Nervous at being caught in a lie she shifted on her feet but he didn't seem interested in her reaction, instead staring off into the middle-distance with a scowl on his face. "What do you want then?" she asked, crossing her arms in turn to mirror his. He slouched a little more in his seat before replying, _

"_To talk to you. Why did you ignore me yesterday?" _

"_I don't have anything else to say to you." _

"_You're a coward Becca." he blurted out, angry at her unwillingness to talk, "Letting go of all of this just because of what people will think," he uncrossed his arms and stood up so his face was inches away from hers, she didn't back away, "it's pathetic," he spat. They glared at each other for a moment, then he walked past her and into the kitchen, for no real reason other than his anger preventing him from standing still. He paced across the tiled floor, picking up a jar of jam from the counter and depositing it again almost instantly, not interested. _

"_Didn't you listen to anything I said the other day?" Becca asked, turning as he moved to keep her eyes on him. He stopped pacing and looked at her, his expression softened, _

"_You were scared, you panicked, you didn't mean it. I--" _

"_--I did." _

"_Becca, you didn't mean it." he reasoned, stepping closer to her, the scowl gone completely and now replaced with a tender, pleading look. His assumption of her thoughts made her annoyed her, especially as she'd made her real feelings quite clear to him. He hadn't listened to a word she'd said, he didn't care about her future or her life, he only cared about himself. The only thing that prevented her from shouting when she next opened her mouth was the sad look in his eyes, that expression that told her that his anger was just a facade hiding his pain, telling her that she had hurt him more than she had intended to, _

"_I did mean it Justin. All of it," the scowl returned to his face and he started to pace again. She took a couple of steps after him but when he wouldn't stop moving she ceased his arm. A mistake straight away. He stopped and looked at her, face unreadable. She let go of him slowly and murmured, "Please, Justin..." he turned to face her full-on, and she looked down at the kitchen floor, not wanting to encourage him by meeting his eye. He raised the arm she'd touched and with two fingers under her chin lifted her face until they were looking at each other. _

_He leant in and their lips touched. For a moment she didn't resist, letting him move closer to her, his tongue flicked against hers, clouding her mind. His hand brushing against her waist woke her up and she pulled away. He smiled at her, reaching up to cup her face in his hands, he pressed his lips against hers again. _

_She pushed him away from her forcefully, keeping a hand on his chest in an attempt to hold him back, when he tried to kiss her again she slapped his face. His eyes wide with shock she hissed, "Don't you ever do that again. We are over," in an instant all the sympathy in her was gone, "Stop following me around the village, stop bothering me in school, there is nothing else to say. I was stupid to get involved with you, you were never worth all of this trouble. Leave me alone. Jake is my husband, I love him, he is the one I'm going to spend my life with, not you. So get that into your head. You are nothing compared to him. Not to me." _

_Justin swayed on the spot for a moment, one hand still touching his slapped cheek, eyes still wide and fixed on her. Then as her words sank in he lowered his hand and the scowl returned. He moved towards her and for a moment she could hear her heart beating loudly in her ears, but then he pushed past and marched towards the door. She didn't turn to watch him go, but heard the slam behind her as he left.__

* * *

_

Justin looked at the collection of bottles he'd managed to find around the apartment. They huddled together on the dresser, some unopened, some in various states of being emptied. He selected a dark brown one. Half-full he could not tell what the colour of the liquid inside was. He took a swig of the contents and couldn't tell by the taste either. Still, he drank it. With Ella out there was little else to do now. At some point tidying might be in order, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that right now.

The two women flitted in and out of his mind, transforming teasingly into one another in his memory. One moment he was thinking about a dress that Ella owned, then seeing it slipping over Becca's thighs, the next thinking of a film Becca liked, before realising that it'd come out years after they'd broken up and that he couldn't possibly know whether she liked it or not. Then he'd remember that when sitting in the cinema watching the film with then girlfriend Anna he'd marked it out as something Becca would like, and pretended that it was her snuggled in the crook of his arm, blonde hair tickling his throat. That was back in the time when he'd thought about her every day.

Justin stretched out his arm and stared at the bottle in his hand. It swayed in the air but he wasn't sure if that was to do with his grip or his vision. Perhaps the whole room was moving. The words, "I really miss..." tumbled out of his mouth, before he realised he didn't know the end of that sentence. Banishing the frown from his face he lowered the bottle and took another drink.

* * *

_Justin felt his legs grind to a halt. On the bench by the fountain he'd caught a glimpse of Becca. Slowly, trying not to catch anyone's attention he turned traced his footsteps backwards, eyes on the ground, at the last moment he glanced up and saw her. It was her, and she was sitting with Jake and Nancy. Her hand was on his leg as she talked to her sister about something. Jake was chewing on a sandwich and hardly paying attention. Before he knew what he was doing Justin strode over to them. He kept his gaze on Nancy, so only saw Becca's panicked look out of the corner of his eye, but it gratified him a little that she was paying attention to him. _

"_Yes?" Nancy asked, tilting her head to one side and staring at him. Jake watched them with only vague interest, still eating his sandwich. At some point Becca had removed her hand from his leg. _

"_Do you have a copy of that work from Mr Simon?" Justin asked. _

"_Not with me." Nancy glanced in the direction of the flat and Becca shifted uncomfortably next to her, but she did not invite him up, "I'll bring it in tomorrow for you to copy, it's not in for ages yet." _

"_Ok, thanks." Justin said, but instead of going he looked at Becca. She squirmed under his gaze but refused to return it. _

"_Was there something else?" Nancy pressed, sounding annoyed. _

"_No. Nothing." Justin said, still watching Becca. Then laboriously he turned and walked away from them. He heard Nancy make an enquiring comment behind him, but he couldn't identify any of the words. He tried to smile at having made Becca feel so uncomfortable, but it didn't feel like much of a victory. _

* * *

Justin placed the brown bottled down on the dresser, then picked up another half-empty one. It had a sticker on the side thanking Ella in Hungarian. She'd gotten it when she'd baby-sat her cousin's children for three nights in a row. When she'd come back on the third night with the bottle they'd joked about keeping the cheap wine and giving it to a baby-sitter of their own in a few years. It didn't seem so funny now. It wasn't really funny at the time, but he'd only just moved in a month previously and everything they did seemed to be filled with joy back then. He twisted off the cap and drank a bit of it. It was bad. In the apartment across from him he could hear a dog barking, in the one below the soft chatter of a party that was winding down. He marched over to the sink and tipped the rest of the contents of the bottle down the plug-hole. Usually this decadent gesture would make him wake up, although it annoyed Ella who hated to waste things. This time though he simply went back to the dresser and selected another bottle. There was so many of them he was sure to find something he liked.

* * *

"_I told you to stay away from me." _

"_I couldn't resist," Justin smirked. Becca glared at him from the open chink in the classroom door. He'd made sure he was the last one out of the classroom so that he could talk to her, but she had been the first one to speak. _

"_Try," she hissed, attempting to shut the door on him. He wedged his shoe into the gap like the most persistent of salespersons, making that impossible. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing. Inside he knew that he wanted to win her back and that this wasn't the way to go about it. He knew that she wasn't impressed by immaturity. But all of the things she'd said to him kept resurfacing in his head and making him angry and rash. _

_She shoved the door against his foot hard, causing him to grit his teeth, "Go away," she demanded. _

"_No," he refused, aware of how childish he sounded. _

"_For God's sake, no wonder I chose him over you," Becca said with frustration, letting go of the door and standing back, "Just look at yourself." _

_Justin pulled his foot back, then opened the door slowly so that he had a proper view of Becca. She looked tired. Unhappy. So different from a few days ago. He said that to her. She snorted and marched over to her desk, picking up a stack of papers and showing them to him, "I've got lots of work to do at this time of year, when you're older you'll know what that feels like." _

"_I know you miss me," he murmured, watching her bang the stack of papers onto the desk in an attempt to align each sheet to perfection, "you don't have to say it, I know." _

"_You don't know anything Justin." she snapped, then sighed and placed the papers back down on her desk. Turning to him she said calmly, "Jake and I are really trying to make a go of things now, you can't ruin that. Stop trying. Do you want me to resent you in the future? These last few days with just Jake and me have reminded me... why I fell in love with him in the first place. It's been good. We're talking about getting a proper house. Having children. I can't have that with you. I don't want to. I know you think that when I say I love Jake I'm trying to make you stay away, or to hurt you, or just lying to myself. But I do. I love him. He deserves a better wife than me, but we love each other. We're going to be together for a long time. You couldn't compare with that. You were temporary. You're just not in the picture anymore, Justin." _

_Justin stared at her, trying to spot where she was lying, but his eyes were blurring and he couldn't tell. He backed away towards the door but banged his leg hard against the side of a desk instead, sending it screeching across the floor. He turned to pull it back into place but, with a softer tone she told him to, "Leave it," he finally did as instructed and looked at her, lost for what to say next. What was there left to do to win her back? She looked at him sympathetically again, twisting the strap of her bag around in her fingers as she built up the courage to seal the deal. He opened his mouth to say something but she jumped in instead, "I've put in a request for you to be moved to Mr Morley's class. He's a really good teacher, I think you'll do well with him," she offered a weak smile, "I gave you a glowing report..." _

_Swearing loudly he left the classroom without offering her a backwards glance, he didn't trust himself to stay there without revealing their secret, one way or another. _

* * *

Justin raised the bottle to his lips and watched it sway before his eyes for a moment, convinced now that the room must be moving, before taking a mouthful. Then another, then somehow finishing the alcohol, as if the bottle had never been full. His stomach churned and his head started to pound as the room rolled around him, jerking from one side to the other. He stumbled over to the balcony and opened the windows. Leaning out he felt a brief blast of cool air before the ground seemed to move beneath him again and he grabbed onto the safety railing. The empty bottle in his hand slid from his fingers and fell to the earth below. He made the mistake of trying to watch it's progress and was attacked by a vicious episode of vertigo, reeling backwards quickly from the window so as not to pitch himself over the edge. He didn't even hear the bottle hit the pavement. On the floor of the apartment he stared up at the ceiling. Something hard was digging into his back. A moth was fluttering around the light, bouncing off the bulb then returning, only to again be repelled. Like a spotlight on stage, everything else around that moth seemed to blur and disappear in his vision. Then he was gone.

* * *

_Justin grasped his duvet to his chest and squeezed it between his fingers, he twisted the material around so that no longer comforting it cut into his hands with friction burns. Downstairs the twins were arguing about something, their raised voices drifted up to his room and reminded him to be silent. The tears that had been tracking down his cheeks since he gotten back had stopped a couple of minutes ago, his eyes were red and tender to the touch but he wasn't sure that he was calmed down enough to care yet. On his bedside table the clock told him it was 10pm, soon the twins would settle down and watch a film. His mum was already in bed. Outside in the distance he can hear a hum of noise from The Dog, down below on the pavement there is the metronomic clacking of some high-heals disappearing into the night. He threw his cover to the side, watching it flop pathetically from the mattress to the floor. Goosebumps erupted on his bare legs and stiltedly he got up from the bed and walked over to his window to draw the curtains. It was now silent downstairs. Moving back to his bed he flopped down onto the mattress and glared at nothing in particular. He didn't need to cry anymore tonight. Or for the rest of the week. What else was there to cry about? _

* * *

Becca zipped up her travel bag with one hand, clumsily applying tissue to her running nose with the other. When the phone rang she sniffed loudly then grabbed for the receiver, asking "Nancy?" before it was even at her ear. Her sister was the only reason for her to return to England now and she clung to that over everything that was going wrong. Now that her opinions on what she wanted from life were changing from one day to the next, she longed to see someone familiar to assure herself that she wasn't as cut adrift from life as she felt.

"No," a confused accented voice said at the other end of the line, "this is Helena Ross, I'm a nurse at Jahn Ferenc Hospital, a friend of yours has been brought into the emergency room tonight."

"This must be a mistake," Becca said, sniffing and dabbing at her nose again while looking around for one of her discarded travel guides, "I'm just on holiday here, I don't know anyone."

"You are... Becca Dean?" asked the woman, pausing over her name as if reading it from somewhere.

"Yes." Becca confirmed, puzzled into paying attention, "That's me. But I can't see..." she shook her head to stop her own protestations and instead asked, "who is it that's been hurt?"

"The patient's name is Burton."

**

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews and kind words so far, I'm glad people are enjoying the fic. Sorry for the length of time between chapters, I do know where I'm going with this I promise!**


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